Looking or Seeing?

Don't become so distracted by what you're looking at

that you fail to see it.

This applies to everything from plants to people,

from radios to rocket ships.

Four Simple Ways to Slow Down

In a world that's constantly trying to hurry us up, I've been thinking lately about a few simple (note - simple - not easy) ways to exercise the right to slow down.

1.  3 Deep Breaths: Three deep breaths are like an automatic reset button you can push anytime, anywhere. Whether you're feeling tense about a deadline, in a heated discussion, looking at a to-do list longer than your life expectancy, this little technique will help you. And it's something that it's very hard for your mind to talk you out of. You'll rarely, if ever, find yourself in a scenario that warrants a legitimate reason for not taking three deep breaths. Simply take a 5 count inhale through the nose and then release a 5 count exhale through the nose. Repeat two more times. It's that simple! It's a sure-fire way to shift your perspective and move you through whatever you're encountering with a greater sense of poise. Try it once and you'll be hooked.

2.  15 Minutes in Nature:  I love nature. That's one of the reasons I moved out of Manhattan and into Southern California. I call my almost daily trail excursions my therapy and they absolutely are. About a year ago taking in the scenery during one of these jaunts, the question came to me, "Have you ever felt defensive in front of a flower?" Pondering this thought I realized that it was a succinct way of describing nature's unconditional acceptance. Because rocks, trees, flowers, the sky, clouds, gravel, and twigs require nothing of us, we intuitively relax in their presence. Nature has an immediate calming effect on our entire psyche. And you don't have to live in close proximity to a nature preserve in order to engage in this practice. In fact the easier you make it, the less likely you are to talk yourself out of it and the more likely you are to do it. All you need are a patio or balcony, $25 dollars, and a trip to Home Depot to buy some plants that are attractive to you and that require minimal care. Obviously if you have convenient access to a park or some other natural habitat, then go for it and feel free to change as often as you like and to let your inspiration guide you to the right environment. Regardless of where it is though, the important thing is to commit to 15 minutes (even 5 can work wonders) with nature 3 times a week. Even if your version is communing with the impatiens on your patio, these moments will invoke positive shifts in consciousness that spill over into every area of life. You'll find yourself craving these times as much or more than that Starbuck's vanilla latte.

3. Count to 10: Much of modern life seems to consist of waiting - waiting in traffic, waiting for a bus, waiting in a line, waiting for our number to be called at the DMV or the deli. Waiting invokes agitation because we're thinking of all the things we have to do when we get through this stupid traffic, etc. Something I've found instantly calming in these times is to count backwards from 10 to 1 - either very quietly or silently depending on the situation. Just continue counting over and over until you feel at peace. I'm pretty sure this works so well because it takes thought out of the future and engages it in the present moment. There is nothing intrisically wrong with sitting in traffic (you can tell I live in Los Angeles), it's the desire to get out of it that creates suffering and stress. A few rounds of counting will usually be enough to set thought on a more constructive path - maybe problem solving in some area of life, noticing a gorgeous tree, or someone's vibrant smile. This NOW type thinking lifts off the pressure of time and before you know it the waiting is over. Waiting isn't likely to go away anytime soon, but from now on you can experience it without the anguish. Hooray!!

4.  Leave Early: Cultivate the habit of leaving earlier than you think you need to. As Nike would say, "Just do it!" But know, before you even attempt this, that your mind will try to talk you out of it. If you're anything like me, you've proabably accomplished more before you walk out your front door in the morning than many will in an entire day. The temptation to do just one more thing can be overwhelming and more than justifiable. The problem with this approach is that you leave in a state of stress knowing you are cutting it close and this will only be exacerbated by contact with the outside world - people, traffic, school zones, road construction, and on and on. Ah the stress that can be entirely elimated by the brilliant choice to leave earlier!  It'll take some reprogramming for most of us to get acclimated to this new method - learning to "just say no" to that little drill sergeant in our heads, cracking the whip, insisting that we get one more thing done before we walk out that door. (Perhaps a great time to use technique 1 from above and take 3 deep breaths.) Whatever it takes get yourself on the other side of the door at least 10 minutes earlier than you think you need to. You've not only saved yourself, but all the people you'll encounter on your path from exposure to a hurried, agitated state of being. The worst thing that will happen is you'll arrive early - gasp, gasp. And I'm sure you'll have plenty to do on that little handheld electronic device while you pause in peace - aaaaahhhhhh.

Give someone the "courage to face a lifetime"

"Wheeling his bicycle by his side, the boy took the narrow path down the slope of the hill to the valley and the houses below. Roark looked after him.  He had never seen that boy before and he would never see him again.  He did not know that he had given someone the courage to face a lifetime."

Out of 694 pages, this passage from The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand is the one that has stayed with me in the decade since I read the book. I have it marked with a little yellow post-it note for easy reference when I feel compelled to go back and read it as I often do. It describes the culmination of an encounter that the lead character, Howard Roark, has with a recent college graduate who is riding his bike in the hills and questioning whether life is worth living.

We can all probably identify with the boy's experience, when in the midst of some grappling with life, perhaps even questioning whether it's worth it to go on, we come into contact with someone, who without trying or even being aware of it, gives us the courage to go on; who in some simple behavior, word, or even glance, lets us know that life is worth living. Often even the memory of an experience like this will come to us in our time of need and be enough to move us forward. And I'm convinced there are a multitude of opportunities for occasions such as this everyday if we're open to them.

So what about Howard Roark? How might we see ourselves in him? He was just being himself, wasn't trying to necessarily do some grand thing and in fact didn't even know the impact he'd had on the young man. And that's ok. He didn't need to know. I think that's what I most love about this passage and why it's stayed with me over the years. To me it shows the influence we can have for good, without even knowing it, simply by being our authentic, beautiful, good, and loveable selves! Knowing the power for good we have when we cultivate that connection with our genuine selfhood so that we can express it and be the blessing we're meant to be - to our family, friends, neighbors, and everyone we encounter in our daily life - makes the endeavor well worth it.

An Insight Into Prayer

So often prayer is made out to be a mysterious, even superstitious activity that may or may not yield results. It's usually identified with religion, which can bring with it a sense of exclusivity - only the prayers of those who believe this or that will be answered, etc; not to mention that it alienates those who do not consider themselves religious at all. Recently I heard a definition of prayer that lifts off these limitations. Someone said that "Prayer is the highest form of clear thinking."  When I heard this I immediately thought of Albert Einstein who not only studied profusely but also spent hours in meditation, sitting with his eyes closed contemplating what he was learning. I don't know about you, but that description sounds a lot like what we think of as prayer to me. It has been written that it was during these times that Einstein gained his most prolific insights into the concepts with which he was grappling.

While there is much more that could be said on this topic, I'm heartened by, an inclusive insight such as this which holds the beginnings of making prayer (clear thinking) accessible to everyone.

Need or Opportunity?

What appears to the physical senses as a human need, a lack of something, is to spiritual sense an opportunity to recognize and accept the adequacy and fullness of infinite Love.

Have a "Bronco Billy" Moment

A 1980 film directed by and starring Clint Eastwood as the title character, Bronco Billy chronicles the misadventures of a traveling wild west show troupe, led by Bronco Billy, the "fastest gun in the west." While the film wasn't well received by audiences at the time of its release, as a recent viewer, I loved its simple honesty, revealing, heart-touching moments, and understated, witty humor. (The fact that it features a performance and a couple of songs by Merle Haggard probably helps too!) But this isn't a film review so bear with me.

It could be said that Billy's fatal flaw is his pride, which often leads to explosive bursts of temper that are always getting him into trouble. My favorite scene of the film involves a turning point for Billy when he meets with a local sheriff to win his friend's release from jail. In the scene, Billy endures humiliating and even provoking taunts from the sheriff without reacting or fighting back, and ultimately succeeds in freeing his friend. But not without a struggle - a struggle which Eastwood's expressive face depicts in the most vivid, yet honest and subtlely powerful way.  Outwardly seeing this type of grappling, which we all encounter inwardly on a daily basis, minus the film crew to capture it, was at once deeply moving and inspiring to me. So much so that after this, I began to notice similar opportunities in my life, and I would find myself saying, "Ah, that was a Bronco Billy moment." In other words, I had been on the threshold of responding to something in the same way I always had, usually a pretty nonproductive way, and I had been alert enough to catch myself and choose differently. Yes!

I think it's safe to say that we all have those situations or people that seem to pop up time and again invoking that same less than resourceful response, the habitual, knee-jerk reaction that seems to take over before we have a choice in the matter, and usually leaves us feeling embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, or regretful. We, like Bronco Billy, can progress beyond these confining patterns. And as with Billy, who's love for and unselfish desire to help his friend, gave him the strength to have his shining moment, it is often an unselfed love that inspires us to move beyond our own robot-like reactions. And the really, really wonderful thing is that no matter how many times we may have fallen into the trap, we always have another chance to do better next time, and to have our very own "Bronco Billy Moment!" I'm finding that these occurences are well worth watching for and never leave us where they find us. Perhaps you too will begin looking for and finding your own Bronco Billy moments.

Here's a link to part of the scene

Art as Communion

You don’t have to be staring at a cathedral ceiling or singing a religious hymn to benefit from the transforming power of art. We’re all drawn to different forms of expression. These days for me, honest, heartfelt, old school country facilitates the most heart-opening and soul-expanding opportunities. I’m in awe of this and often ask myself how a depiction of someone else’s misery (as these songs often are) can bring me such a deep sense of authentic joy and help me find answers to life’s puzzles. The only plausible explanation I’ve found is that the force that inspired and initiated the creative endeavor in the first place touches everyone who observes it for all time to come. And let’s face it if someone is singing, regardless of what state they’re in, that is a sign of hope and the first step out of their predicament. Most, if not all artists, will be the first to tell you that it feels like some other power takes over when they are creating. Some call it the “Muse”; others might call it God. Whatever it is and whatever form of expression it takes – from a piece of fine art to a gritty rap song – if it comes from the heart, it inevitably touches the heart.

It seems one of the most constructive outcomes of this interaction with art is to assist us in moving through states and stages of consciousness. It naturally follows then and shouldn't surprise us that what we're attracted to will evolve as we develop. So I hope y’all will honor whatever form of art calls to you, know that there is a reason you’re drawn to it, feed yourself with it; and if you’re truly open, it will, as good as any Sunday sermon, bring you into a sense of communion with a power greater than yourself. Have fun and savor it!

A Message from the Moon

As I sat outside last night taking in the full moon, sitting so low in the sky, it felt like she was right next to me, flirtatiously peaking at me from behind the tree branches, demurely daring me to engage with her in some way.  Of course I could not resist and why would I?  So I found myself asking her a question.  I requested that she whisper in my ear a message I could share with you.  Then I leaned back, closed my eyes, and listened.  This is what I heard...

It is neither too soon nor too late,
the timing is just right.
It is neither too much nor too little,
it is just the right amount.
Don't look out there to judge or compare,
look inside yourself.
You came here for a purpose and you know what it is.
You may have forgotten for a time, but the seed is there,
waiting for fertilizer so it can break through the soil of
doubt, fear, neglect, and come to full bloom.

Everything worth having comes in much the same way this message was received:

expectantly asking
quietly listening
humbly yielding
obediently following.

Freedom to Stay

Most of us are accutely aware of our freedom to run,

and we do a lot of it. 

Fewer of us understand our freedom to stay,

exercise our right to stillness,

and benefit from the power that comes with it.

"Kinship with All Life"

Over the last few years my love for animals of all types and the draw to be around them has been growing. Now I find myself with more opportunities for just that. Whether it's the coyotes, snakes, and deer out on the hiking trail, the resident snail on my patio, or hanging out with the goats (pictured above) and horses at the equine rescue, I'm fascinated with the way Life expresses Herself in these beings that are so different from me. While I know this is part of my soul's development, I cannot yet articulate the deep lessons that are now in the embryonic stages. To support this growth, tonight I cracked open a wonderful book that I read years ago. It's called Kinship with All Life by J. Allen Boone. He describes encounters with everything from ants to camels and how he actually communicates and learns to appreciate these varied beings. By reading only the first few pages I can tell it's no coincidence I picked this book up again. It's going to hit me on a whole new level this time around and allow me to learn what I need to from all the critters that cross my path.  Here are a couple of sentences from the foreward:

"As you read these stories you will see that whenever I was properly humble and willing to let something besides a human be my instructor, these various four-legged, six-legged and no-legged fellows shared pricelss wisdom with me. They taught me that perfect understanding and perfect co-operation between the human and all other forms of life is unfailing whenever the human really does his required part."

That's what I'm up for -- learning how to do my required part. Here we go!

CLICK HERE to read more about the book

Honor the place where your tail grows crooked

Ever notice how perfectly centered and symmetrical the tails of cartoon rabbits are depicted? For most of us that's our first exposure to the fluffy, nose-twitching creatures. I know it was for me. In fact, I never gave any thought to their tails.  I accepted those animated renderings early on without discretion and they became my ideal, albeit an inaccurate one, that I held in thought and even projected outwardly onto the real life rabbits I encountered. Recently however I began to notice something very interesting about my most-frequently-encountered-critter, the jack rabbit, during my greatly loved southern California trail runs.  Their tails grow crooked!  And it's the most adorable thing to see...watching them hopping along with that little off-centered tail, each one slightly different. The first time I was present enough to notice this phenomenon, the thought immediately came, "We're like that. We all have a place where our tails grow crooked and it's the most interesting, adorable, and brilliant thing about us too." Unfortunately this fear-based world we inhabit isn't very welcoming of crooked tails. Like those cartoon bunny rabbits, it wants to straighten everything out, make it fit into some well-defined category created by someone who knows better than we do. If we're not alert, we fall for it:  get the face lift, the implants, nose job, botox injections, go on the diet, buy the sports car -- fill in the blank. Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with these things, but if they're done as an "in order to", they can be very disappointing because they rarely deliver what they promise. And all the while, that crooked tail, the thing that if acknowledged and developed, not only would bring us the most lasting satisfaction as an individual, but would also be the greatest blessing to mankind as a whole, goes neglected, under nourished, and unexpressed. How we go about discovering this beautiful, brilliant uniqueness will differ for each of us and it may be quite challenging at times. Yet I'm convinced that it's absolutely worth it and if you simply open to the idea, the "how" will follow. So today, right now, please, please, please honor the place where YOUR tail grows crooked. The world is waiting for it and so am I.

Life as an 8 second ride

This day starts off, as most do, like an 8 second ride -- me jumping out of bed - the equivalent of the bull outta the gate.  8 seconds...in yoga terms that's shorter than one deep breath - a full inhale and exhale for the average person takes at least 10 seconds - for experienced yogis more like 20.  I've never ridden a bull, but I can imagine that in those 8 seconds the NOW is brought into the spotlight like never before.  I suspect that's what keeps people coming back over and over again. There's nothing to think or do - only ride.  All the mind chatter has to fade, blotted out by the urgency of the present moment.  0 to 8 seconds of freedom from the ego - yes!!  The nowness of reality and the realness of now, breaking those unruly trixters called past and future - arguably the cause of all suffering. Oh to ride this day like that, as if my life depends on it, holding nothing back, breathing presence into each and every second, staying on, not by resisting, but by becoming one with the ups and the downs; trusting that Life will send me only those bulls I'm ready to ride.  And should I fall, I know tomorrow's another rodeo and most likely I'll put on my chaps, hop on, and ride. Giddy up!