The Daily Lightwave ~ Solitude versus Isolation

The Daily Lightwave (#dailylightwave)

Solitude and isolation are not the same thing.

Solitude brings balance to a life of connection.

Isolation reinforces a sense of disconnection.

In our culture, we need less isolation (i.e. more real connection) and more solitude.

A healthy life is a life of connection and voluntary solitude; not of unwanted or forced isolation born of disconnection.

The Roseto research I wrote of earlier this week has given me so much to contemplate. Studies around this Italian-American community in Pennsylvania showed that their sense of community and connection was the primary factor in living a long, healthy life. They took care of their elders, multi-generations lived with or in close proximity to each other, and everyone looked out for one another so no one felt alone or isolated. The bottom line ~ connection is good for us in every way.

In our culture, we've gotten away from these practices for the most part. In the urban environments most of us inhabit, it's possible to be among thousands of people in a day and not really connect with anyone. Saying "hello" to strangers seems to be an art of the past. Why this distrust of each other? I'm striving to remember as I go about my day that everyone needs connection. Even though it takes courage and the risk of being rejected, let me be the one to break the ice and at least say hello or make eye contact and smile. In our consumer-based economy so many opportunities to connect surround buying things so let me be the one to start a conversation with the person bagging my groceries, serving me tea, washing my car, or handing me the dry cleaning. If another isn't open to conversation, I quietly feel and acknowledge their value without saying a word. That kind of silent recognition is felt by the other person.

Of course connecting and outreach always need to be balanced with solitude. Yet within in the scope of an integrated life, solitude reinforces connection not separation. Isn't it ironic that moments spent voluntarily alone actually help us feel more connected to each other.